Cultures that Bully Speak Death, Not Life

Cultures that Bully Speak Death,

Not Life

Bullying Kills Personally, Psychologically,

Spiritually, and Culturally.

by R.E. Slater & ChatGPT

To seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce someone perceived as vulnerable.

Growing up I experienced a number of parental mistakes. One of them was being labelled and belittled. It hurt and affected the image of myself. It did not bring out my potential. It made me feel worthless. My identity was held in the verbal abuse of another. It was unfair and unloving. It made angry to be called names and be told things which were untrue of myself.

I feel the same way today when listening to politicians and preachers lie and condemn their voting base or congregations. I feel we, as a maturing society, are unwise to follow the advice of bullies or to allow bullies to destroy the lives of those they do not love nor care for.

Culturally, it is a sickness which speaks death, not life. It misrepresents and intentionally (if not pathologically) lies in order to build up the speakers of untruth, hate, division, and death.

My response then, as now, is to educate myself about bullying. To identify it immediately. To resist it by talking openly and frequently about it. To seek out life-birthing habits, thoughts, and experiences in life. To build self-confidence through accomplishments and awareness. To befriend those around me who are encouragers, who are honest, and who can naturally love. And to let my life move towards love, loving speech, thoughts and actions, rather than participate or perpetuate in the continuance of any forms of death.

It is hard. It feels unnatural. It is difficult.... and it is a daily task. The psycho-social and emotional wounds are there. Though the scars are healed, and wounds less easily opened, my internal radars are always on the alert, standing high and tall, listening for the deeply unfair  and harmful toxicity flowing from the lips of bullies speaking their daily deathly acts of intimidation, abuse, harassment, thuggery, heckling, mocking, teasing, baiting, taunting, and hate upon the lives of others.

The bully's words and acts are unwanted. Together, let us learn to say, "Stop!" Your assessments are worthless as are your words and actions. "Go Away." When you have something worth listening to then come back... And when you come back, "Learn to speak life, not death." Otherwise, it is our turn to talk, to build, to enliven. Not yours.

Peace and Love,

R.E. Slater

August 14, 2025

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by R.E. Slater & ChatGPT

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Quotes to Live By

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Kindness & Empathy

Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. – Plato
There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up – John Holmes
Strong people stand up from themselves. But the strongest people stand up for others. – Unknown
Each of us deserves the freedom to pursue our own version of happiness. No one deserves to be bullied. – Barack Obama
You will never reach higher ground if you are always pushing others down. – Jeffrey Benjamin

Courage & Integrity

Wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it. Right is right even if no one is doing it. – St. Augustine
I would rather be a little nobody, than to be a evil somebody. – Abraham Lincoln
Knowing what’s right doesn’t mean much unless you do what’s right. – Theodore Roosevelt
The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority. – Ralph W. Sockman
True courage is cool and calm. The bravest of men have the least of a brutal, bullying insolence, and in the very time of danger are found the most serene and free. – Lord Shaftesbury
Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow. – Mary Anne Radmacher
One person can make a difference, and everyone should try. – John F. Kennedy

Self-Worth & Identity

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. – Judy Garland
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt
Don’t you ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can’t be exactly who you are. – Lady Gaga
It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities – J. K. Rowling
For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you. – Neil deGrasse Tyson
We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided. – Albus Dumbledore

Hope & Resilience

Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise again. – Victor Hugo
No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true. – Cinderella
Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else. – Mr. Rogers
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. – Martin Luther King, Jr.
You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. – Marcus Aurelius

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Types of Bullying

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Three types of bullying

Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things:

• Teasing
• Name-calling
• Inappropriate sexual comments
• Taunting
• Threatening to cause harm

Social or Relational bullying, Involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships:

• Leaving someone out on purpose
• Telling other children not to be friends with someone
• Spreading rumors about someone
• Embarrassing someone in public

Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. It includes:

• Hitting/kicking/pinching
• Spitting
• Tripping/pushing
• Taking or breaking someone’s things
• Making mean or rude hand gestures

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Identifying Bullying

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1. Personal Bullying

Definition:

Bullying on a personal level is the intentional use of power, dominance, or manipulation by an individual to harm, intimidate, or control another person. It often targets someone’s vulnerabilities—appearance, abilities, beliefs, identity, or perceived weaknesses.

Key Traits:

• Direct harm: Name-calling, ridicule, physical aggression, exclusion.

• Indirect harm: Spreading rumors, undermining reputations, subtle exclusion.

• Goal: Diminish self-worth and silence dissent or individuality.

Impact:

Erodes confidence, fosters isolation, and disrupts a person’s ability to live authentically.

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2. Psychological Bullying

Definition:

A sustained pattern of mental and emotional manipulation designed to create self-doubt, dependence, and fear in the victim. It operates on the inner life—thoughts, emotions, and perceptions—rather than overt physical acts.

Key Traits:

• Gaslighting (making someone doubt their own reality).

• Withholding affection or approval to control behavior.

• Creating a sense of helplessness or inevitability of the abuse.

• Constant criticism disguised as “concern” or “help.”

Impact:

Internalizes shame, damages self-trust, and may cause anxiety, depression, or long-term trauma.

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3. Spiritual Bullying

Definition:

The misuse of spiritual or religious authority to coerce, control, or shame individuals into conformity, obedience, or silence. It replaces authentic faith and love with fear, judgment, and control.

Key Traits:

• Declaring divine disapproval for nonconformity.

• Using sacred texts as weapons rather than as sources of life.

• Elevating leaders’ authority above communal discernment.

• Equating questioning with rebellion against God.

Impact:

Severs the person’s sense of divine love, distorts their image of God, and stifles spiritual growth.

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4. Cultural Bullying

Definition:

When societal systems, traditions, or norms perpetuate power imbalances, marginalization, or harm against certain groups. This form of bullying is systemic, embedded in cultural narratives, and normalized through collective behavior.

Key Traits:

• Institutionalized discrimination (racism, sexism, classism, ableism, homophobia).

• Media stereotyping and public shaming of targeted groups.

• Erasure of cultural histories or suppression of languages and customs.

• Penalizing dissent or whistleblowing.

Impact:

Silences cultural voices, enforces social hierarchies, and normalizes injustice as “tradition” or “common sense.”

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Core Thread Across All Forms

Cultures that bully—whether on the personal, psychological, spiritual, or cultural level—speak death, not life by:

• Suppressing the voice and agency of others.

• Replacing dignity with shame.

• Trading empathy for dominance.

• Breaking relational trust.

In contrast, life-giving cultures speak life by:

• Valuing the image of God (or inherent worth) in every person.

• Encouraging diverse voices and perspectives.

• Practicing restorative justice and compassionate truth-telling.

• Promoting mutual flourishing over dominance.

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Why all forms of bullying are anti-life and why relational, life-giving cultures are essential for human and cosmic flourishing.

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Process-Theological Framework

1. Bullying as Anti-Process

In Whiteheadian process thought, life is an unfolding web of relationships where each moment (actual occasion) builds upon the possibilities offered by God and others. Bullying distorts this dynamic by:

• Reducing possibilities instead of expanding them.

• Replacing creative advance with stagnation or regression.

• Disrupting mutual becoming by silencing or injuring another’s voice.

Bullying is not merely moral failure - it is metaphysical sabotage, choking the flow of novelty and mutual enrichment.

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2. Life-Giving Cultures as Co-Creators

Process theology views humanity as co-creators with God in the ongoing shaping of the world. Life-giving cultures:

• Amplifies the divine lure toward beauty, truth, and goodness.

• Increases the range of potential futures for individuals and communities.

• Fosters reciprocity - each member contributes to, and receives from, communal well-being.

In this view, a culture that speaks life is a culture that cooperates with God’s creative aim.

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3. Why Bullying Speaks Death

Biblically and theologically, death in process terms is not only physical cessation but the cutting off of potential, the destruction of relational wholeness. Bullying does this by:

• Stunting growth—psychological, spiritual, and social.

• Turning relational networks into systems of dominance.

• Filling the shared world with fear rather than trust.

In process theology, such "deathly" acts do not align with God's divine lure but with  personal, relational, and cultural disintegration, making them inherently anti-life.

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4. The Divine Counter-Movement

In process thought, God is the ever-present lure toward richer possibilities, even in the wake of harm. Against the cultures that bully, God’s call is:

• To restore broken relations through healing dialogue and justice.

• To create safe spaces for vulnerable voices to flourish.

• To turn wounds into new sources of compassion, widening the community’s capacity for empathy.

This is not “forgive and forget” but redeem and transform—a continual process of co-authoring better futures.

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5. Cultural Transformation as a Processual Mandate

Cultures can repent - not in the punitive sense, but in the processual sense of reorienting their trajectory. To move from death-speaking to life-speaking cultures:

• Name the harm in personal, psychological, spiritual, and cultural dimensions.

• Refuse to normalize dominance as tradition or necessity.

• Enact restorative practices that expand, rather than constrict, communal possibilities.

• Embed empathy in structures—education, governance, religion—so that care is systemic, not accidental.

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Conclusion

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In process theology, bullying is a rejection of the divine invitation toward beauty, relationality, and mutual becoming. Life-giving cultures accept that invitation, choosing to speak words and create structures that enhance possibility for all.

To speak life is to participate in God’s ongoing creation, where the aim is not control but co-flourishing, not silencing but amplifying, not death but ever-deepening life.

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Addendum

Wikipedia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying

Bullying is the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing, comments, or threats, in order to abuse, aggressively dominate, or intimidate one or more others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception (by the bully or by others) that an imbalance of physical or social power exists or is currently present. This perceived presence of physical or social imbalance is what distinguishes the behavior from being interpreted or perceived as bullying from instead being interpreted or perceived as conflict. Bullying is a subcategory of aggressive behavior characterized by hostile intent, the goal (whether consciously or subconsciously) of addressing or attempting to "fix" the imbalance of power, as well as repetition over a period of time.

Bullying can be performed individually or by a group, typically referred to as mobbing, in which the bully may have one or more followers who are willing to assist the primary bully or who reinforce the bully's behavior by providing positive feedback such as laughing. Bullying in school and in the workplace is also referred to as "peer abuse". Robert W. Fuller has analyzed bullying in the context of rankism. The Swedish-Norwegian researcher Dan Olweus stated that bullying occurs when a person is "exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons", and that negative actions occur "when a person intentionally inflicts injury or discomfort upon another person, through physical contact, through words or in other ways". Individual bullying is usually characterized by a person using coercive, intimidating, or hurtful words or comments, exerting threatening or intimidating behavior, or using harmful physical force in order to gain power over another person.

A bullying culture can develop in any context in which humans regularly interact with one another. This may include settings such as within a school, family, or the workplace, the home, and within neighborhoods. When bullying occurs in college and university settings, the practice is known as ragging in certain countries, especially those of the Indian subcontinent. The main platform for bullying in contemporary culture involves the use of social media websites. In a 2012 study of male adolescent American football players, "the strongest predictor [of bullying] was the perception of whether the most influential male in a player's life would approve of the bullying behavior." A study by The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health medical journal in 2019 showed a relationship between social media use by adolescent girls and an increase in their exposure to bullying.

Bullying may be defined in many different ways. In the United Kingdom, there is no legal definition of the term "bullying", while some states in the United States currently have laws specifically against it. Bullying is divided into four basic types of abuse: psychological (sometimes referred to as "emotional" or "relational"), verbal, physical, and cyber (or "electronic"), though an encounter can fall into more than one of these categories.

Behaviors used to assert such domination may include physical assault or coercion, verbal harassment, or the use of threats, and such acts may be directed repeatedly toward particular targets. Rationalizations of such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size, or ability.