What is it Like Being a Dad?
Published on Jun 16, 2013
"How much time do you have?"
St. Mark Lutheran Church, De Pere, WI
Facebook: StMarkDePere
Twitter: @StMarkDePere
"You matter and you are loved."
Showing posts with label Families and Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Families and Parenting. Show all posts
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Monday, November 4, 2013
What Kids Say About Their Moms
There isn’t a single day that I don’t question my abilities as a parent. And when these mothers start reflecting on their issues and doubts — yeah, that struck a nerve. But when their kids start saying what they really think about momma bear? I. Was. A. Total. Wreck.
There's a lot of pressure being a parent. We want to raise our children the right way, but there is no definitive handbook for every difficult situation and we're bound to make mistakes along the way. For most of us, we're our own biggest critic.
But what do the people who matter most think? How do our children see us? For Mother's Day this year, we did an experiment asking moms to describe themselves, and then compared that with what their own kids said about them. It's amazing what you can see when you look from a different perspective.
The Video Every Mom Must Watch On Repeat
Until... She... Gets It
The Huffington Post | By Farah L. Miller
Posted: 10/31/2013 9:32 am EDT | Updated: 10/31/2013 9:58 am EDT
"I struggle with my temper."
"I wish I was better at taking time to sit down with my child."
"I wish I was more confident."
Sound familiar? Motherhood comes with doubts. From the moment you hold your first baby at the hospital, and wonder if you've got her cradled the right way to the day your child calls from college with all the questions. There is no map. We're raising little humans here, and it is scary. And some days, the only voice in your head is the one screaming, You don't know what you're doing.
Except you do.
The women in this video were asked a simple question -- to describe themselves as mothers. They expressed those concerns listed above. Then, their kids answered. It's like when Dove had women listen to what other people remember about their faces, only it's not selling soap and is just about parenting (which really isn't a "just" at all).
Press play. Send it to all the mamas you know. Most importantly, believe it.
* * * * * * * * * *
50 Quotes on Mothers
May 4, 2012
Touching, funny, and provoking quotes about moms and mothering
A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie
for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
- Tenneva Jordan
Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs
in my field, since the payment is pure love.
- Mildred B. Vermont
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once,
and by car forever after.
- Peter De Vries
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
- Jane Sellman
I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me.
They have clung to me all my life.
- Abraham Lincoln
Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers,
but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together.
- Pearl S. Buck
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss
at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
- Honoré de Balzac
All women become like their mothers.
That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
- Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest
An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.
- Spanish Proverb
She never quite leaves her children at home,
even when she doesn't take them along.
- Margaret Culkin Banning
When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.
A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
- Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty
Motherhood has a very humanizing effect.
Everything gets reduced to essentials.
- Meryl Streep
In all my efforts to learn to read, my mother shared fully my ambition
and sympathized with me and aided me in every way she could.
If I have done anything in life worth attention,
I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother.
- Booker T. Washington
Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease.
- Lisa Alther
Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child.
They get bigger, older, but grown? What's that suppose to mean?
In my heart it don't mean a thing.
- Toni Morrison, Beloved
A mother's happiness is like a beacon, lighting up the future
but reflected also on the past in the guise of fond memories.
- Honoré de Balzac
With what price we pay for the glory of motherhood.
- Isadora Duncan
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.
- Erich Fromm
I miss thee, my Mother!
Thy image is still the
deepest impressed on my heart.
-Eliza Cook
a mother's secret hope outlives them all.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not.
- James Joyce
Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.
- Oprah Winfrey
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me,
but I think she rather enjoyed it.
- Mark Twain
My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw.
All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to
- George Washington
There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box
has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes
from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.
- Erma Bombeck
When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?"
it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no.
You're going to get it anyway.
- Erma Bombeck
Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face.
- George Eliot
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
- Ambrose Bierce
If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
- Ferrell Sims
Motherhood is neither a duty nor a privilege,
but simply the way that humanity can satisfy the desire for
- Rebecca West
The best way to keep children home is to make the home
atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires.
- Dorothy Parker
No matter how old a mother is, she watches
her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.
- Florida Scott-Maxwell
The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic.
It requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this
very love must help the child grow away from the mother,
and to become fully independent.
- Erich Fromm
There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.
- Jill Churchill
Mothers are all slightly insane.
- J.D. Salinger
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford.
Then I want to move in with them.
- Phyllis Diller
Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs...
since the payment is pure love.
- Mildred B. Vermont
When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child,
I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself.
- Nancy Friday
Mama exhorted her children at every opportunity to 'jump at de sun.'
We might not land on the sun, but at least we would get off the ground.
- Zora Neale Hurston
Time is the only comforter for the loss of a mother.
- Jane Welsh Carlyle
A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
- Dorothy Canfield Fisher
A mother's love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking;
it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking.
- Helen Rice
A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's.
- Diana, Princess of Wales
By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not
have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Mother is the name of God in the lips and hearts of children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray
Whenever I'm with my mother, I feel as though
I have to spend the whole time avoiding land mines.
- Amy Tan, The Kitchen God's Wife
If you bungle raising your children, I don't think
whatever else you do well matters very much.
- Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom.
- H.W. Beecher
The hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.
- W. R. Wallace
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Of Dads and Daughters, of Parenting and Love: "Wakefulness in a Night of Fireworks"
Inspiration is as much about theology as reading long words and even longer explanations behind complex and complicated ideas. But tonight, let's step back a moment and simply reflect on the wonders of God's creation in this special moment recorded between a dad and his daughter when she couldn't sleep thinking she was hearing fireworks outside her home.
R.E. Slater
September 28, 2013
Tonight You Belong to Me (Cover) - Me and my 4 y.o.
Published on Sep 17, 2013
She thought she kept hearing fireworks and couldn't sleep,
so we sang to keep her mind preoccupied. In the end,
nothing competes with fireworks.
* * * * * * * *
A Daughter Poem
A daughter thanks her dad for his love.
A Dad's Love
by Samantha R. Almodova
On sunny days and dark nights,
in troubled times and pointless fights,
you've been right there through it all,
you've stood your ground when you could have taken the fall.
Many times my mouth has slipped free,
but you were always there to put it back where it was supposed to be.
You've taught me a lot, and a lot I have learned.
You've given me the tables and many I have turned.
You deserve the world, but only a poem I could give,
but another gift I have given is to learn,
in troubled times and pointless fights,
you've been right there through it all,
you've stood your ground when you could have taken the fall.
Many times my mouth has slipped free,
but you were always there to put it back where it was supposed to be.
You've taught me a lot, and a lot I have learned.
You've given me the tables and many I have turned.
You deserve the world, but only a poem I could give,
but another gift I have given is to learn,
that the life of a father is an awesome life to live.
Thank you dad for your love.
Thank you dad for your love.
* * * * * * * *
The cutest video ever? Quite possibly.
Duet between a father and his daughter
by John Jalsevac
Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:08 EST
Being a parent has its challenges. But as a young dad with three kids (Four, really. But the fourth is keeping a low profile for the time being.), I know that there are joys associated with parenthood that surpass just about anything else I've ever experienced.
It's quite simply impossible to put into words that feeling you experience as you watch your children quietly playing with their toys, or reading a book, or tearing through the house chasing one another amidst peals of laughter, or sleeping peacefully after a long, hard day of play.
Non-parent outsiders often see nothing but the diapers, the tantrums in the grocery stores, the insistent demands for food at inopportune moments, and the squabbles, and conclude that parenting is simply hard. Well, it's true, parenthood is hard. But that's not the whole story. What they can't fully understand is the sheer awesomeness of these little people, who give back 1000 times over in love and hilarity whatever they demand from us in energy and patience.
Anyway, all that is simply a prelude to this video that is making the rounds on Youtube which, by focusing on one of those awesome moments experienced by one dad as he tried to soothe his unutterably cute daughter back to sleep, has made me feel even more lucky to be a dad, and to be able share such moments with the miracles that are my own kids.
* * * * * * * *
Another Daughter Poem
A mother writes to her daughter letting her know how much she loves her.
As I Watch You Grow
by Kay Theese
Do you know how much you mean to me?
As you grow into what you will be.
You came from within, from just beneath my heart
it's there you'll always be though your own life will now start.
You're growing so fast it sends me awhirl,
With misty eyes I ask, Where's my little girl?
I know sometimes to you I seem harsh and so unfair,
But one day you will see, I taught you well because I care.
The next few years will so quickly fly,
With laughter and joy, mixed with a few tears to cry.
As you begin your growth to womanhood, this fact you must know,
You'll always be my source of pride, no matter where you go.
You must stand up tall and proud, within you feel no fear,
For all you dreams and goals, sit before you very near.
With god's love in your heart and the world by its tail,
You'll always be my winner, and victory will prevail.
For you this poem was written, with help from above,
To tell you in a rhythm of your Mother's heartfelt Love!
*Written and dedicated to my precious daughter - Tammy in 1990
Saturday, March 23, 2013
And now, a word about SEX! From a mom with 3 teen boys.
by Jamie Wright
Friday, March 22, 2013
My youngest son is about to turn 13, so for the next 9 months, until my oldest turns 20 (holy ape balls!), I will be Mom to three teenage boys.
That means our dinner table feels like a locker room... if locker rooms were full of nerds. The conversation tumbles easily from Xbox to music to girls to MineCraft to push ups to girls to movies to farts to money to girls to YouTube, and then back again, in an endless loop, so that over the course of one meal we come around to the subject of “girls” at least 9 times.
At least.
Girl talk inevitably leads to sex talk. And, let me tell you, if there is one thing these guys like to talk about more than girls? It's sex. So we talk about sex. Kind of alot. And since (as far as I know) none of my children have gone and gotten married, we're mostly talking about sex of the pre-marital sort; y'know, Virginity and stuff. The Big “V”. The Sacred Gift. The Golden Ticket.... These chats are exactly as awkward as you imagine.
Obviously, my children know that I had sex before marriage because I had a kid before marriage, so there's really no getting around it. That same kid towers over me now; a full two years older than I was when his own fluttering heartbeat wound itself into mine. These days, I look at him and I think, “He can't even keep his own room clean - how the hell did I manage an infant and a full time job at that age?!”
So, yeah, I was an unwed teenage mother. Classy, I know.
But oh, it gets worse, because before I invented MTV's Teen Mom, I was a little bit of a ho-bag. Yup. I willingly did regretful things with my body, and I allowed myself to be used in regretful ways by some regretfully sleazy douchebags, perverts, and (in retrospect) probably pedophiles. Gross, I know.
I believed that sex was the best thing I had to offer the world. It was the only thing about me worth loving. And I learned, too young, that I could leverage sex to get what I wanted. My female parts had become my greatest asset.
Then I found my way into the Church, 19 with a baby on my hip, and while I lingered on the outskirts of the Christian bubble, guess what I learned... I learned I was right! Apparently, even God was super concerned with my vagina, and where it had been, and what it had touched. Apparently, my genitals were like a portal that led straight to my soul. I had been muddied - and everybody knows that once you muck up clean water, you can't unmuck it.
It took me a lot of years and a lot of conversations with God (and with people who know more about God than me) to understand that everything I believed about my own sexuality was built on two huge lies.
The first comes from our culture, and it tells us that sex outside of marriage isn't a big deal.
The second is from the Church, and it tells us that sex outside of marriage is the biggest deal of all the deals ever.
One allowed me to give it away freely, convinced I would carry no burden. The other forced me to carry a spirit crushing load.
Both are complete crap.
Sex matters. It's the most vulnerable thing you'll ever do with another human being. Commitment breeds intimacy, and intimacy is what makes sex freaking amazing. I'm not gonna lie, you can have hot sex outside of a committed relationship – but mostly it's gonna be like... clumsy... and goopy... and ew. The better you know your partner, the better your sex will be. So basically what I'm saying is that wedding night sex is kinda “Meh.”, and five years sex is all “Yes!”, but 18 years sex is like “WOAH!!!” So go ahead and wait. Wait and enjoy the waiting, and then bask in all those learning experiences with your most trusted friend.
But.
If you've already gone down that path, you knocked boots, you got 'er done, you did the nasty.... and now you're not sure, or maybe you feel dirty and you're rocking the walk-of-shame-face day in and day out, you need to hear this -- I mean it, you really need to hear this...
You've had sex outside of marriage? *gasp* So what! You are so much more than your sexuality. And the God of the Universe, the one who turns whores into heroes, and drunks into prophets, and liars and murderers into leaders and kings - that God? He made peace with you and me and our promiscuous, pathetic attempts at love a long, long time ago. He gave you a Redeemer. Shame is no longer your burden.
...
Do I want my boys to wait? Absolutely. And they know it! But I refuse to tie their value as a human being to their junk like a shiny red balloon.
I want them to know that sex is sacred. And I want them to believe that it matters. I hope they will esteem the bodies of the girls in their lives, as they hold their own bodies to the same high standard.
But I also want them to understand that the kind of sexual purity the Bible calls us to doesn't begin or end with Virginity - It's way bigger than that. It's way more significant. And it's way harder to hold on to.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Learning to Parent Children by Speaking Support and Affirmation
"Which is why it's important for adults to
learn to practice affirmations later in life."
- Anon
"Practicing the 'Art of Affirmation' begins with everyday
conversations so that it becomes most affective when applied
deliberately in the lives of those we love and would minister to."
- Anon
Learning to Parent Children by Speaking
Support and Affirmation
by R.E. Slater
August 1, 2012
Some children are the products of overzealous and unjust spankings (some quite extreme and frightening). Many of us might feel that we were once one of those children. And if true, than it is all the more important to practice the respectful correction of children by minimizing a spanking (in my case, I would apply a small, but firmly applied, swat to my child's rear) while taking care to not correct in anger, emotional frustration, verbal abuse, or from personal control issues. In my view, it was better to positively instruct a child in the ways of life than to negatively correct from one instance to the next. Mostly because I did not wish to create a child who could become overly aggressive towards fellow siblings, friends, his/her parents, and/or a future spouse later in life. It creates harm and resentment, fear and distrust, of others when growing up, and studies have shown time-and-again that affective, positive reinforcement works nearly 100% better than harming, negative reinforcement.
Further, as my children grew up I was careful to not publicly embarrass them, threaten them with careless words, speak out of anger, or in rash judgement. And when I failed in these areas would apologize to the injured child and try to not repeat these hurtful actions. I nearly always tried to provide positive guidance and counsel while remembering my own limitations, feelings, and misperceptions (as we know, parents are not always right!). Certainly I failed. More times than I care to remember. But day-after-day I prayed for strength, patience, wisdom, and importantly, renewing and effective ways to be loving, kind and generous. This was the burden that I carried within. And where it came to correction I tried to error on the side of misunderstanding to be sure that I wasn't overreacting to my child's perceived actions of disobedience. Oftentimes it was simply one of better explanation and communication. Sometimes it was because I had set the rules too high, too selfishly, too one-sidedly, rather than allowing my child to make innocent mistakes and the freedom to learn from them. To not expect perfection but imperfection that could be molded and lovingly shaped. To allow a child's individualization to emerge and not mine own. To form his/her little personality into discoveries of strength and passion. To patiently teach character traits that would reflect Jesus' love and compassion to others.
Now I realize that each parent has their own methods of correction and accountability that works for them, but for me, this was the parental burden and counsel that I carried within me. Where it came to physical correction some psychologists will say to use a wooden spoon to apply a small spanking. Thus avoiding connecting the parental hand with violence and harm. For myself I preferred my hand because I could feel just how hard I had spanked my small child (my rule was only once, mind you) along with a time-out chair, or some other corrective form of learning (perhaps the removal of a reward; but not unduly, nor prolonged; and always in the spirit of benevolence, forgiveness, and reconciliation). Most importantly I wanted to speak love and not verbal abuse to my children. To avoid labeling them. To not speak unkind words to them. Harsh words from an angry heart. But rather, learn to speak my love, care and affection into their hearts and ears. Holding and hugging my little ones. Developing their trust and cooperation. Diligence and respect. And with every failure (whether mine or theirs) seek God for more wisdom, patience, and understanding. To not give in to despair and disappointment. But to see small spiritual victories that could grow and take root. Because one day our children will grow up. And I suspect that one day our children will need the strength of our communications and nurture to surmount life's unending temptations and hardships. The teen years can be hard. And life after schooling is no less. What we do now may perhaps provide guidance and counsel to our children later in life (or even, they to us!).
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. - Eccl. 4 (ESV)
Most upon my mind and heart was how to show benevolence, forgiveness, and reconciliation. We're not perfect people. Nor should we expect our kids to be perfect either. God doesn't expect us to be perfect but uses our flaws and our passions to lead and guide us. So that not all parental punishment needs to be prolonged if the child's heart is remorseful or repentant. I think parent's many times have to use a great deal of wisdom in the matters of correction (and mostly self-restraint if we're honest with ourselves!) and we try to take the best from our upbringing, while abandoning those childhood experiences which had hurt us the most, and were the most ineffective. I can only speak to my own experiences, but I knew that I was loved even as I also felt that my correction was at times too severe, or sometimes too harsh.
But worse than the physical correction was the verbal abuse and labeling I received later as a teen from parents whom I later discovered to be overwhelmed by life, though I did not understand it then. And yet, God had my heart even at that early age to forgive my parents and try to understand how my behavior was unhelpful to the family. They were good people who had my best interests at heart and were learning themselves the art of parenting as very young parents. So that, to all parents everywhere, please remember, that our words are venomous as poison and poison can rot the soul. Take heed then and learn to speak words full of the anointing oils of myrrh and frankincense as salves (healing ointment) to the soul and as balm to the broken heart. Children can recover but will carry personal baggage and scars from our actions. So then, as both a one-time child, and now as a parent, let us try to limit our responses to our children learning to live in love with one another. Let it begin today. Let us not wait any longer to love, apologize, forgive, and work hard at being at peace with our family. Our children. Our parents.
And as our children grow up eventually a parent must abandon all spanking. I did this when my children probably began to emerge into years 4 and 5. We went from some spankings occasionally to none at all, although I will admit that even as late as 7 or 8 years of age the occasional spanking did occur despite my own policy to eliminate all spanking in the very early years of childhood. Certainly the pre-teen years are off-limits from spanking and better done through other methods of skilled reasoning and administration.
Thankfully, kids have that inner awareness to know when you have their best at heart for them and oftentimes parents simply need daily reminders to be patient, to remain loving, and to pray for God's wisdom in these matters. And again, expect failure. On your part and on theirs. We will fail. Too many times actually. But it is in our failure where we will find our greatest strength and ability to show love and mercy. Forgiveness and compassion. Reconciliation and peace. Each broken trust. Each broken heart. Each broken communication can be repaired and made stronger. Learn to trust God and grow into these experiences of lost and heartache to discover the beauty of love's strength and resilience. No matter how difficult. How prolonged. How impossible. God's love can, and will, conquer all our fears and failures.
Most importantly, know that parenting is a difficult, timeful, job when done correctly. It takes the combined community of a parent's friends and support system to seek out wisdom and counsel in raising one's kids. Reading good parenting books, paying attention to your child's needs and frustrations, knowing their personality and what works or doesn't work, and making time for your kids is extremely important. Too many times I heard from parents that they were spending "quality time" with their children... but what they meant was that they were spending a "quantity of time" with their children by "doing something together while hoping for something more."
Too oftentimes it is a misnomer to believe that quality time can be spent with someone without first, and foremost, spending a quantity of time with that same person, when we really don't have it to give in the first place. Why? Because our priorities are out of whack. Children need time with their parents. Lots of it. Time we don't have but must somehow find. Hence, "Spending quality time cannot occur without first spending a quantity time with your child"... no matter what the books (or your friends) tell you. You deceive yourself if you believe this is true. Without play time there can be no relational construction. Its a fact of life.
As a result, I played with my children constantly. And they loved it. We learned to communicate to each other through the reading of books and playing games together; going out on field trips, the playground, or picnics; visiting family and friends; or visiting farms, orchards, zoos and museums. Each event gave me valuable input in understanding my child and helping him/her to grow up responsibly, emotionally and spiritually. As parents we must remind ourselves that all our hard work, our patience, our prayers, will someday pay off when we see our children become blessings to those around them. A child will never realize the pains of parenting until they become one themselves. But God knows and will reward your efforts. Perhaps even into our later years when our own children will need guidance and counsel in raising their own kids. These can be wonderful years. But they begin all the way back at childhood. So be wise. Be loving. Be constant in your affections and sacrificial sufferings (the bible calls this l-o-n-g-sufferings).
And remember that Life is going to be hard enough for our children. They will encounter soon enough mean teachers, unloving behaviors by family and friends, unjust circumstances in their lives, hurtful betrayal, misunderstanding, discouragement, disappointment, even harm or worse. As parents, take each-and-every day to speak love to your children. To be love to your children. To act love to your children. Learn to be kind, generative, and generous. Talk to your children and learn to listen to their needs. As example, though my son hid his heart and feelings from me I still tried to fathom his depths; though my daughter usually spoke once of something that was important to her I still had the obligation to catch that phrase/feeling in her heart and try to remember it, if even months later. Raising children is hard. It is not an easy task. We fail and try and fail again. But overall remember, it is God who will lead and guide, love and protect our children, knowing that we are weak and frail and wanting the best for our children. And yet, through all the trials and turmoil, God's greatest of gifts to any parent is our children. They are our legacy. And our blessing. As we are to them.
Learn to trust your children. Learn to speak affectionately to them. To speak in affirmation to their interests, their concerns, their insights and accomplishments. Don't be cynical. Or patronizing. Or overly judgemental. For many young parents just simply behaving themselves and learning to grow up is a difficult enough task let alone learning to raise children, loving one's wife, and maintaining some kind of job to provide food and shelter. To help you, seek out a loving church that will provide support, guidance and counsel to you, the parent. This cannot be emphasized enough. Within our community there are many wonderful churches that have inspirational children's programs spring, summer, fall and winter. Become a part of that ministry and let your children find new challenges and growing experiences. If you are abandoned by your family, or if your folks have passed away, know that God's people are there to become your new family. Let your needs be known and do not hide them. And where there is no help resist giving up. Stay to the course and become to others what you never had. Or wished you had. God is faithful and knows your needs. Don't stop believing this truth regardless of how hard life is today. It can, and will, change through your perseverance and longsuffering. Be at peace and know God's strength will be your sufficiency.
R.E. Slater
August 1, 2012
Lightpainting with Love
Rebecca's Basic Rules for Parenting
by Rebecca Trotter
July 15, 2016
My
basic rules for parenting:
- Your child should see your face light up when they walk in the room.
- Always assume that your child has the best intentions, even when you know they don't.
- Treat your child the way you want them to treat other people.
- Touch your child often. Reach out and rub their arm or hold them when they talk to you. Rub their head as they walk by. Sit close while watching a movie or reading together.
- Leave them alone for long stretches of time. Let them be bored.
- Help them laugh at themselves.
- Let them have their own opinions and be wrong.
- Remember that your goal is to raise good adults, not good kids. Two different things.
- Don't be controlling.
- Deescalate, deescalate, deescalate.
- Responding harshly to kids' misbehavior gets less effective over time, responding gently to kids' misbehavior gets more effective over time. Use the lightest touch possible.
- Not every battle must be won and rising above the battle altogether gives you more power over time.
- When you have to lower the boom and hold the line, be unruffled, speak in short sentences and repeat yourself continuously without responding to their objections or protests, move your body into close proximity without being threatening, do not leave until compliance has started, praise and thank them for compliance, return frequently to verify that compliance is ongoing.
- What you respond most strongly to is what you will get more of.
- As early and often as is possible and safe repeat these words: "they'll figure it out eventually."
* * * * * * * * *
15 Inspirational Christian Quotes
About Raising Children
by Josh
March 29, 2011
Inspirational Christian quotes about raising children are helpful and needed for all parents. The best source of these parenting quotes and direction comes from the Bible. God’s word is sharp and penetrating and us parents need it to guide us in raising a family. I have four kids at home and know the challenges of day to day life. Parenting is difficult and I often feel like I am failing but I know if I trust in God and call out to Him for help and guidance that He will show Himself strong. Parents need to pray. Christian parents need to get others also to be active in prayer for their children. My prayer is that these Bible verses and Christian quotes on raising kids will spark some thought and action in your life today!
Inspirational Christian Quotes on Raising Kids from The Bible
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
Genesis 18:19 For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice, so that the LORD may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.”
Matthew 7:12 “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
Deuteronomy 6:7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Inspirational Parenting Christian Quotes for Raising Children
“The family should be a closely knit group. The home should be a self-contained shelter of security; a kind of school where life’s basic lessons are taught; and a kind of church where God is honored; a place where wholesome recreation and simple pleasures are enjoyed.”
Billy Graham
“A child needs both to be hugged and unhugged. The hug lets her know she is valuable. The unhug lets her know that she is viable. If you’re always shoving your child away, they will cling to you for love. If you’re always holding them closer, they will cling to you for fear.”
Polly Berrien Berends
A wise person truly said, “It ought to be as impossible to forget that there is a Christian in the house as it is to forget that there is a ten-year-old boy in it.”
Roger J. Squire
I believe that if an angel were to wing his way from earth up to Heaven, and were to say that there was one poor, ragged boy, without father or mother, with no one to care for him and teach him the way of life; and if God were to ask who among them were willing to come down to this earth and live here for fifty years and lead that one to Jesus Christ, every angel in Heaven would volunteer to go. Even Gabriel, who stands in the presence of the Almighty, would say, “Let me leave my high and lofty position, and let me have the luxury of leading one soul to Jesus Christ.” There is no greater honour than to be the instrument in God’s hands of leading one person out of the kingdom of Satan into the glorious light of Heaven.
Dwight L. Moody
Ask your children two questions this Christmas. First: “What do you want to give to others for Christmas?” Second: “What do you want for Christmas?” The first fosters generosity of heart and an outward focus. The second can breed selfishness if not tempered by the first.
Anonymous
We do not develop habits of genuine love automatically. We learn by watching effective role models – most specifically by observing how our parents express love for each other day in and day out.
Josh McDowell
You want to mess up the minds of your children? Here’s how – guaranteed! Rear them in a legalistic, tight context of external religion, where performance is more important than reality. Fake your faith. Sneak around and pretend your spirituality. Train your children to do the same. Embrace a long list of do’s and don’ts publicly but hypocritically practice them privately… yet never own up to the fact that its hypocrisy. Act one way but live another. And you can count on it – emotional and spiritual damage will occur.
Charles (Chuck) Swindoll
Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.
Charles (Chuck) Swindoll
Parents, you will teach your children more by scheduling regular times to nurture the relationship between husband and wife than you would ever teach them through a lecture on commitment. Although it is important for you pray to for your child, seeking the Lord for that perfect spouse for them, it is equally important that you teach them through your example how to cherish the future gift of a companion that the Lord has in store for them.
Katherine Walden
Let no Christian parents fall into the delusion that Sunday School is intended to ease them of their personal duties. The first and most natural condition of things is for Christian parents to train up their own children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Charles Haddon Spurgeon
I pray these Christian quotes and Bible Verses about raising children will inspire you to become a more biblical role model and parent to your child. I know I need to read through these often to be reminded of this!
Resources
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version
“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
More Bible Verses on Loving Your Children
Ephesians 6:4 ESV
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Proverbs 22:6 ESV
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Colossians 3:20 ESV
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Psalm 127:3-5 ESV
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
1 John 5:14 ESV
And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.
John 3:16 ESV
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Matthew 5:48 ESV
You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Proverbs 13:24 ESV
Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Hebrews 11:1 ESV
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Titus 2:4 ESV
And so train the young women to love their husbands and children...
Titus 2:3-5 ESV
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
John 15:13 ESV
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
John 14:6 ESV
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
Matthew 6:25-34 ESV
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these....
Matthew 5:39 ESV
But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Proverbs 21:9 ESV
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
Psalm 113:9 ESV
He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!
Exodus 20:1-26 ESV
And God spoke all these words, saying, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. “You shall have no other gods before me. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me...
Genesis 3:16 ESV
To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”
2 John 1:9-11 ESV
Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting, for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works.
1 Timothy 5:8 ESV
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Ephesians 6:2 ESV
“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise)...
Ephesians 5:25 ESV
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...
Romans 12:1 ESV
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
Matthew 10:37 ESV
Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Matthew 5:44 ESV
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...
Matthew 5:28 ESV
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Proverbs 31:1-31 ESV
The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him: What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted...
Proverbs 29:15 ESV
The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.
Proverbs 15:1-33 ESV
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. A fool despises his father's instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent....
Psalm 78:5-7 ESV
He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments...
Psalm 78:1-72 ESV
A Maskil of Asaph. Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth! I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children....
Psalm 51:1-19 ESV
To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba. Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me....
Deuteronomy 6:6 ESV
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
Genesis 2:18 ESV
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
1 Peter 3:7 ESV
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Timothy 2:15 ESV
Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Romans 12:18 ESV
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Luke 6:35 ESV
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.
Isaiah 55:11 ESV
So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.
Proverbs 22:15 ESV
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Ephesians 5:1-33 ESV
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)